I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
