Say something about gay babies.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
