"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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