idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
