It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
