I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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