...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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