i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
