i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
