Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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