Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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