Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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