Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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