Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
