I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize