I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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