I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
