She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
