Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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