Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize