I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i would punch a child for taco bell
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize