There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
