My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
