It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
