Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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