Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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