Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
