I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
