I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
