I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Randomize
