I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
