Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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