literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
