I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
