its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
