Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Randomize
