ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
