I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
