I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
