carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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