Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
