come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
