all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
