I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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