bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
