If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
