Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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