I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
