My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize