Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Buhtt sex?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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