i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
