Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
