She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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