Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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