...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
