If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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