fuck your aforementioned shoe
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
