Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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