i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
