Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
