Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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