i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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