Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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