i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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