Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize