Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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