then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
