So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
