I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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