When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
