Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize