I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
