It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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