lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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