I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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