There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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