So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I smell like Dick and happiness
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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