Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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