He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
